


No Words to Be Spoken

by thewightknight



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, because I like pain, cousins ben and padme, gender swap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-15 14:56:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5789794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewightknight/pseuds/thewightknight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben Solo's first word wasn't momma or papa or Chewie or droid.  It was Jedi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Words to Be Spoken

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [therealmcgee](http://therealmcgee.tumblr.com/)'s [fan art of Ben Solo](http://therealmcgee.tumblr.com/post/137498841199/ben-organa-solo), crossposted from [tumblr](http://thewightknight.tumblr.com/post/137843950073/therealmcgee-ben-organa-solo-ben-solos-first).
> 
> Bonus art! [Kylo Rey](http://smaskvxn.tumblr.com/post/138066690266/i-think-i-forgot-to-post-this-here-too) by [smaskvxn](http://smaskvxn.tumblr.com/).

Ben Organa Solo's first word wasn't momma or papa or Chewie or droid. It was Jedi. It shouldn't have surprised anyone. After all, people had started saying even before he could walk how he would become a great one, following in the footsteps of his cousin Padme, begin studying with Uncle Luke as soon as he was old enough.

He was four when Cousin Padme and all the other Jedi pupils died (although it was a few more years before he truly understood what dead meant) and Uncle Luke got sad and went away. There wasn't any talk of Jedi training after that, and after a while the word faded from his vocabulary, and soon after that his parents started fighting and his father started taking trips, longer and longer trips and then one trip he didn't come back either.

He was eighteen when he heard the talk, about a mission and a map, about how they might finally find Uncle Luke. He begged and pleaded to go along, because he wanted Uncle Luke to come back as much as anyone. And besides, he knew they would send Poe Dameron, Poe of the dark eyes and quick grin, who'd ruffle his hair and tell him stories, Poe who had first guided his hand on the stick of an x-wing, Poe who, of late made his mouth go dry and his heart beat too quickly whenever he was near.

His mother said no, and not just no but hell no, but he lied to Poe as he slipped into the x-wing just before takeoff and said he'd talked them into it. BB-8 whistled in skepticism but Poe took him at his word and they were off to Jakku. Poe wouldn't take him along to meet Lars San Tekka, left him at a dump of an outpost, promising to be back in a few hours. He couldn't believe what he found hiding under a tarp there, couldn't wait for Poe to come back so he could show him. They'd have to take two ships back to D'Qar and Leia would be so mad at him for leaving, but maybe now that he'd found the Millennium Falcon his father would come home again.

But Poe didn't come back and the night passed, and then the next morning BB-8 found him, and then there was a girl with dark skin and eyes who was wearing Poe’s jacket and she said Poe was dead, and he realized it was up to him to complete the mission.

The First Order found them, and they stole away on the Millennium Falcon and the girl, who said her name was Finn, turned out to be one hell of a gunner and they escaped the TIE fighters pursuing them. It looked like they were home free and then a tractor beam locked on and he thought they were dead for sure, but then oh, the surprise reunion, because here was his father again at last. BB-8 showed them his piece of the map, and Ben swore again that he'd find his uncle and asked his father to help.

They landed on Takodana because Han refused to go back. He'd find Ben a ship to take him back home, he said. They argued, and Ben said some things he knew he shouldn't and stormed off, and something drew him downwards, into a lower level, into a room where there was a box, and he recognized what was in the box, and there was a vision, and Maz tried to talk him into taking up his uncle's lightsaber, but frightened and still hurting from his father's rejection he ran away. Because isn't that what Solos do, after all?

He watched the First Order descend, and for the first time he saw the mysterious figure all clothed in black, helmeted like a figure out of the bedtime stories that used to give him nightmares, wielding a lightsaber that crackled with malevolence, strong in the Force and trained as he had never been. He attacked, and was chased, and was caught, trapped and then blackness claimed him.

Ben woke, strapped down on an interrogation table, under the gaze of that helmet, and a voice which tickled at the edges of his memory, even distorted as it was. And when he taunted her and she removed the helmet, he recognized her, even across the years that had separated them.

 _Padme_ he said and she screamed at him. _Padme is dead. My name is Rey_. 

She tried to rip Luke's location from his mind, but something happened and he found himself in hers instead. She left, and he escaped, untrained as he was still managing to bend a trooper to his will. He darted from corridor to corridor, looking for a way out and a door opened and there were Finn and Chewbacca and his father, and Finn darted forward first, sweeping him up in a crushing embrace and then Chewbacca wrapped his arms around both of them, and Han just watched, and that was okay, that was good, because his father had come back for him.

Just a few minutes later he watched as his father confronted Padme. Their words were lost from where he stood on a platform high above the bridge, but he could see her uncertainty, her fear as the helmet dropped away, and as she sagged into Han's arms he breathed a sigh of relief. Padme would come home, and Luke would follow, and they would be a family again, and then he screamed in horror as a jagged red blade tore through Han's chest. Finn dragged him away as explosions ripped through the base and his father fell into the bottomless shaft.

Where they were going he couldn't tell through his tears, and then Padme, no, Rey was before them, and he drew his blaster and fired and she deflected the bolts and with a gesture he was thrown. He blacked out, he must have, because the next thing he knew he saw Finn fall, and how did she have Luke's lightsaber? Rey tried to call it to her, and no, he couldn't let that happen, her eyes widened in shock as it flew past her and settled into his hand.

They fought, and he poured all his anger, his grief into his swings and still he was losing and she backed him up to the edge of a cliff but she stayed her killing blow, she offered to teach him, to show him the ways of the Force, like he had been promised his uncle, her father would do. And a voice whispered at him, resonating with the crackle and hum of their locked lightsabers. _Let go of your anger._

She fell and he stood over her, and he hesitated too, memories of the cousin who'd been warring with the wish to end her life as she'd ended his father's, but the decision was taken from him. The ground split between them and he was left staring at her across the newly formed chasm as the planet began to fall to pieces around them. He stared at her fallen figure, then turned his back on her, returning to where Finn lay. 

Chewbacca found them there, carried Finn into the Falcon, and when they arrived on D'Qar Ben saw Leia waiting for them. He didn't need to say anything. She already knew, and she held out her arms and he fell into them, sobbing, both of them oblivious to the cheers that greeted the returning pilots.

He left Finn with a kiss on her forehead, still under the care of the medical droids. He left Poe with a kiss too, left him standing in shock in the middle of the landing field in front of the Millennium Falcon, fingers pressed to his lips as Ben gave him a rogue’s wink, a scoundrel’s grin as the Falcon’s ramp closed. He and Chewbacca set out for parts unknown, arriving at last on a world of rock and water. He climbed to the top of a rocky crag and there he found a robed figure who stared at him with eyes tired and sad. There were no words to be spoken. Ben just reached out, lightsaber in hand, and waited. 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to come say hi over on [tumblr](http://thewightknight.tumblr.com/).


End file.
